Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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