Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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