watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
