I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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