A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
