o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
