By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
