Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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