Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
