i just google imaged poop.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
