i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
