There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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