I want to walk on stilts...naked
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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