Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
