i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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