Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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