i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am midnight drunk by noon
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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