do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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