and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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