Just cropdusted the office
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
