Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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