i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
