Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
