Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
