so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
