Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
