I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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