dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize