I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
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