shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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