felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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