I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
