hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
