She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
