Porn is love you can see.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize