I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
