when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We got so high we made milksteak
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
