dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
