When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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