I just pynch a tree in the face
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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