I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
