singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
