Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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