Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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