i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
false alarm. still invincible.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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