we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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