I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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