i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
