I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize