I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
