i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
