i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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