So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
are you so shy because you have an std?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
