I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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