I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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