there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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