Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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