My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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