he wants to bone in the snuggie
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
