i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
