you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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