A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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