Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
