Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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