Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
