Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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