I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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