There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
