they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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