I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
this is an emotional support booty call
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
