I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
